MOTHER WOLF TARGETS: Landfill Avoidance, Fashion Passion, The ‘Snowpiercer’ Breakdown, Orphanage Reflections, and Bean Farm Memories (Upon the Ma’amtrak Express)
Disclaimer: Everything below is a mix of what I observed and heard during the event. The goal isn’t to pinpoint "who exactly said what," but to share (usually) an outsider's view and overall perspective on these industries. I’m not here to act as a definitive firsthand source—readers should do their own research. I hope this inspires you to attend events, explore new industries, and hear what leaders are presenting. These notes combine my observations with thoughts on how things could run smoother and how ideas connect (IMO). I’m not an expert, you know? Just hanging out in the room with them. Enjoy!-
okay i used to LOVE love love this artist so much. (and please, forgivethe vulgarity, butits so catchy). his music introduced me to lana del rey in this song! i feel like this song semi-made her famous? idk in my world it did. and btw - at least one of these lines is 100% lame. so, you know. hahahaha. but its a good song - don’t deny
Topics: Trains, Storage, Luggage,
The adventures continue as head onto the train and I learn more about the gaming industry. Tomorrowo morning, I will attend a small gaming event I stumbled upon, promoted to just like “hang out with ‘the cool parents’ and they’ll even sneak you some coffee” so we will see about that. I don’t like caffine, I totally think parenting is struggling these days… so we’ll see what ‘cool parenting’ looks like in some people eyes! But they do have lots of cool games and so I’ll just see how its going and try to learn more about the gaming culture. My side-quest at the moment, alongside other things. Just, while waiting for moass of course. :)
Why Attend: I’m attending another event on Monday which i’m 100,000% excited about. Because it’s a HUGE piece of the puzzle that is “edutainment” (well, at least last year it was) so this is like the preview of that. Like… these are the people playing the games we want to replace. So let’s see what’s going on and how it goes. It’s a bit of a early event… but, I just think it will be worth it. I’m helping my studnet develop a board game right now, I just picked up a few more students… I’m teaching all of these kids, you know? I want to leanr more - and even the best woman I know (these days) at leading a daycare, she 1. listens to me and takes my advice - but - 2. listens ot the kids!! and gets their ideas on everything. and 3 - also she has good ideas too and her dad even helps her :)
Photo Collage
Overall Event Reviews
these notes are mostly in order. i got a bit mixed up atone point - and full blown story mode at antoher hahaha.
And btw, I recently was thinking of the movie, Train to Busan and how incredible it is. I love that movie so much and it just hits almost every emotion in a movie. Makes me cry so much but laugh and just so much. So, the other day I thought of that movie, added it to my list, and here I am jumping on a train. I’ll make two blogs… cause I ended up having a lot of reflections on the train… so, i’ll write about them below.
And i heard more about train-stuff. Some of it was really niche. I have someone i know well said they work in the “train parts” industry. But he doesnt’ talk a lot about it.
And to learn all I can to assist my man RCEO in buildina competitor to bamazon!!
But yeah. tomorrow i’ll go take the walking tour again… i just felt like it was… idk the word, you know? just like the features they have in portland… the landmarks. They are these choices that are always so strangely justified. Like “oh, we like the simpsons, so we named everything after the simpsons”.
like… sometims i ask students to define a word… maybe the word, “want”… right?
and i’ll say: what does “want” mean?
and they’ll say: want means something you want. like, something you want to have.
hahah right? so… its the same. “we have simpson stuff everywhere cause we like the simpsons” . just… not enough explanation there, but let’s see. okay i’ll try to sleep now i think… then i’ll add my notes from the train ride later… and then - idk. i think i’ll do two blogs cause this one is going to be so longand i feel like it was already its own chapter.
https://www.kellytutors.com/blogs/kids-immersive-education-fundraiser - but the luggage reminded me of this event a bit. jsut liek the motif of luggage. and some pics too of “lost kids” and “are you kidnapped” and stuff like by the bathroom. i mean thats not it exactly….
NOTES FROM FASHION EVENT/TRAIN:
the fashion event i stopped by momentarily, they were advertising custom embroidery. It was in the basement of the mall and across from all these monarch butterfly signs and stuff. and tree things. i know that monarch butterflies can be used as codes sometimes. so, i feel like… there were just a lot of curtains and what is behind those curtains?
special fine details, but also they can custom in their back workshop. it was the soft opening today but the hard opening is next week. each jacket is for sale, each custom and by its 3rd round. she said.
they had chocolate on the front table and their children were there. two kids, young young kids. and one had a beanie baby cat just carryin git around. the older one, and then a tiny toddler too.
i just didnt talk a lot and browsed very like, detail oriented (right, cause its all really fancy and detail oriented) and she was really hovering me liek I was going to buy. but, no way. they were like $275 each… and it just felt really off.
like, i’ve just heard of these freaky things online of people using the words “quilt” to mean something else. i dont even know what. but she had like homemade quilts and stuff. and all these things i’ve seen on twitter that are layered in meanings. so, it just was like confusing.
she said she will be there 4 more months and they’re there just this week to start or something. or just today? only there today? idk. but, i couldn’t stay.
then, after i stopped by that, i head on the plane to go learn more about gaming.
Wow there was a big delay.Big delay and then it turns out they removed the stuff. “At least no one got hit. Thats the only other time”
“The night is still young. Hahahahaha. Hahahahahah”
They crack up over someone getting hit. That sends them right into their days off.
geeze. its not. funny to hear people on a train joke about people getting hit.
they’re just geeking out
You’re’ not the conductor are you? No, I’m the assistant conductor. It was a rough one. After that one.
yeah and the conductor has his own special door at the front. of course.
It makes for a very long night. Shooken up.
We can make up for lost times.
Now they’re just talking about the train, so i wanna take good notes since: 1. i love learning about logistics and 2. uh hahaha i forgot my headphones (but also dont have amazing ones… so i hardly even have any. but bluetooth freaks me out, so - all good)
If you’re traveling at 7:30 you ain’t got nothing but time. You’re not tryin gto be in bed for long nights or anything. Go home for bed.
Usually storage is kept by the trash but they removed it today.
Do you guys always work the cascade or the vampire?
At the current we are only doing the cascades. 518, same as 511 on this one. About 4 days a week. About 10 hours a day. It’s a lootttt of time.
No one is deaf to begin. You try hard not to be.
I remember the girl I met at the hostel who worked at the fish yards and it made her deaf from working, half of her… only one ear worked. My age. She was so nice but super lost in life, and she was half deaf. And no one knows sign language, you know. So only patient people took the time to talk to her. I liked her a lot - bu, she drank. But... it breaks my heart when industries break you. All she did was help fish and she lost half her hearing
This storage right next to the handicapped spot. By the trash. Here in this cafe.
STORYTIME:
I remember I had that revelation at my friend Kevins house- I don’t think he would mind I say it… cause that is a popular name and his family means so much to me. They took me in for a few years time to time over random holidays and they were the first ever ones to help me travel overseas.
I’m on this train now, so I’ll tell this story.
So, one time I was at this bar in Knoxville called “Cool Beans” and my friend got a call from his mom. This bar wasn’t my favorite (hahahaha but I’d go to there … well? Any day of hte week? I’m nots ure. Jsut compared to the boringness of Seattle’s nightlife (though… I should go back to Knoxville soon and see it again!!! My old friends… check out how it’s doing post-covid. Did it survive somehow? Some magical how? Or… is it still drunk and why I left hahahah but still love it… but did drink liek 6/7 nights a week while there. But the music was amazing. And. Yeah! Here we are. Haha. Oaky. So…
So, it was a normal night at cool beans, saving money with Natty Lights and my friend (actually, 7 of us all lived in this great house oat the time, it was just super fun, senior year) and Kevin got a call from his mom on the phone. And his mom was asking if he wanted to go on a mission trip. And he was like, no, but maybe Kelly would?
So, he handed me the phone (and all of the time that she woudl visit, she just loved me a lot. Idk, I feel like she saw how much I wanted care. To be honest. I don’t know how else to put it. And she stepped in.. as you hear more, you’ll learn that’s not to unique to me… it just was her style.
So… at cool beans, a bit drunk, I agree to go on a mission trip to Nicaragua. I’d never been there before. And I didn’t even know where it was, but I agreed. I didn’t even care to look at a map, cause I loved his mom and I knew it’d be fine. And I wanted an adventure. I’d never left the country before.
So we got on two planes, a big group of liek 20 people hahaha it was like lost. You know? And then we all sat (and I remember the 2nd year I went on my way home I watched hte Lego Movie and I have never laughed harder at a movie in my entire life. To give it context, I was on a plane… so, you are more focused and/or bored… cause you’re stuck on a plane. But it was still so amazing hahaha. The funniest movie. Idk I just was so surprised by how every line was cracking me upend even now I want to stop typing and watch it hahaha I need to add it to my movies list. But… I didnt watch any of the others. I think I watched a little of the 2nd and just couldn’t. So.. whatever. But the first one. Amazing.
Okay - haha so, we travel on the plane, maybe two planes, and we get to Belize. Wait. Omg I realize now it’s so good I write this down cause I literally almost can’t RMEMEER. But I think I went to Belize twice and Nicaragua once… OMG Nicaragua. Okay. I’ll tell both stories. Because I’m on this train and it’s 3? Hours? Idk. Okay.. first the Nicaragua story:
So… OMG okay I remember this now. So, actually… Kevin’s mom calling me at hte bar and asking me to BELIZE (not Nicaragua) - but, let’s …
This guy is yelling about taking gummies to his friend btw. I feel like there are a lot of people on this train dressed to impress their own crowds. And you know. Go for it. Do no harm to others, everyone’s happy - go for it.
Okay next station. Tacoma Washington. If it’s your stop. Collect and prepare to disembark.
OKAY sorry those train peopel were talking. Okay. So - the Belize story.
So I used to be in a church. It was a youth group in a church. And the leader, I remember his name was like Evan and he had the most incredible wife INCREDIBLE. I loved her. She was so kind to me. And her husband was always fine, you know. Never this or that, but the same height as her. Hahaha and like idk. Scrawny. I dont’ mean to be rude but she was STUNNING AND SO COOL. She just liked me a lot.
So, for whatever reason, you know, it was like, “time to go on a mission trip” for hte church and I was SOOOOO so sososososososososo excited. Wow. Wow. Wait. Wow. Now as I think about this I realize there are some HUGE red flags. Hm. At the time I just thought “they’re poor and can’t afford bedsheets’ but now idk. Just seems strange. Tehy shoudl be reimbursed for clean beds if this is their thing :(
I remember, too… this trip I got so sad two times, you know? I’d never seen a third world country before and this was like the same/worse as imagined, in the sense it wasn’t “fun” you know? In the movies I feel like third world is like “wowwww look1” you know and you’re like in the jeep wrangler, sticking your head out a tiny bit… but like then the locals give you the stink eye so you act cool again. You know? It’s like glamorized, montage. But the reality is that these sweat shops go on for minutes and minutes and more. These sweat shops are so so so so so so so endless. And they’re full, the air is full of feathers. Everyone breathes in feathers all day. And then waits hours for the few busses to take them home.
At one point I cried to the youth group leader, and I asked him you know… how do you believe in god? I said, I don’t get this story. I don’t get this story…
We were there for a mission trip, and the goal was to tell people about our religion, you see?
But... I just was losing my mind. Cause I’m like… we can’t tell all of these endless factory workers, right? Wecan’t tell all of these people. These people waiting for the bus. Like there is no time to talk to everyone, you know? There’s no possible way to tell everyone… so what? Then what? They don’t get saved?
Just because they didn’t get hte chance to talk to us, now… what? Too bad - straight to hell :(
I said.. this doesn’t make sense to me. I think that it shoudl be: if you are a good person, you are rewarded. Not if you were lucky enough to hear the conversation.
He laughed and replied to me, “oh, you just need child-like wonder. Think of doubting Thomas.” I’ve always thought of that ever since… it’s confusing to me, cause in some ways - it tells you to be “immature” but then you think about it and its like… no, its just saying like… take it easy and learn.
But we traveled there, a bunch of kids and the leaders, and they had everyone split up into groups. I remember me and this girl I didnt know had to sleep on this bed that was just covered in blood stains. And I even told the youth group leader (he worked at the mattress store) I told him, we need to raise money and get them new matresses. Because they made us travel all the way over to a new country and then sleep on these beds. These children and families beds suddenly. They welcomed us into their house and then had us sleep in their bloody beds.
The girl I was with was really stressed out and hating it. So, it ticked me into the role of “everything is fine”. You know? So, I just kept us calm and helped us go to bed.. and I dont’ really think I slept. I just remember you could hear dogs barking and stuff around.
Before that, we’d stopped by this afterschool youth center for kids at risk or whatever. They played this reggaeton sounding music with lots of “me uhhh” you know - like those alarms that people use to try and hype up the crowd. SO they were singing these super hype christian songs with all of the kids of the town. Gathered around.
SO we were there and after hte first night sleeping over in the borrowed beds of the locals, they moved us into a hotel for the rest. :( I remember like the kids just had to go stay with their parents. You know, make us stay there.
So then after that, the next morning, we woke up and just helped build homes. The whole point of hte trip was to build homes. And I remember I had NOOOOOO no nonononononononononon no idea what to expect
Hahahaahah and I remember there was a guy there and he had this AMAZING house- and by amazing I mean one room, just a roof, an open wall - into the moutnains/view. It was jsut stunning. It was nothing and everything. And he had a hammock. That’s what he slept on. That was it. And he had instagram. So he just took selfies all the time
And there was a cute blonde girl with my same name and he was IN LOVE with her and he kept taking pictures with her nonstop and she was like loving it, but also like hahaha um
And that reminds me too - omg this is funny to say, but that was the first time, being in Nicaragua, I had a crush on someone (this will sound weird, but idk how to say it) outside of my race!! I’d never thought it was acceptable. But then I went to Nicaragua and one guy there was SO cute and I was liek wtf is going on??? Hahaha
And then this other guy was so nice and had a motorcycle and I remember when the staff (like the staff we came with) wasn’t looking, he let me ride on it, all around the town. I’d never been on a motorcycle before, so it was just wild. You know? Riding around with a guy who I didnt even speak the same language as when I was so young. Lol. But it was just like omg, where am I and this adventure has begun
So - we started building the house - oh yeah, but I had no idea what to expect, and so I wore these insanely fancy boots (I used to get an allowance in college and so I just spent money randomly. Each month I’d spent it all and have nothing left, and one time I got like $200 boots. You know? It was so dumb but I thought they were cute, and then I thought they’d be PERFECT hahah for building homes in Nicaragua. So I wore this so random outfit of liek sorts, a shirt, and these wild super nice smooth boots with no sole/heel and I was sliding around all the time cause these homes/neighborhoods were on STEEEP STEEP mountains. It was incredible. It was incredible. It was so beautiful.
So we got there and everyone’s like… okay, time to build a home hahaha. Right? Like and instantly I’m like, uhhhh anything else to do? Hahahah anything else to do here? Cause yeah right I want to like… idk. Sit around with peopel and measure and do a good careful job with this. It’s not for me. But I will come talk to you guys when you want a break. And maybe do some of that. It’s fun… but like - only one lego movie, okay hahaha not hte whole series.
So… anyway, I remember there were these adorable kids. One girl was literally a child model. And they were so sweet… because at first I jsut was there. You now. Whatever, like goofing off - my first mission trip. Everyone else was friends, it was like all these sorority girls there and I’d only joined a sorority for a second and then quit cause I felt they didn’t even care who I was. You know? So I quit.
Then these girls were on the trip with me and pretty nice. Oh yeah! Hahahah omg and this one guy. “Charlie” I remember and was nice too and I tried to treat him like a brother and then one time when I was living in Florida for a few months he was there too and then we got food at the hulgan restaurant and then some girl offered us coke there! Hahaha so.. my point is, we met on this mission trip and then finally a year later we get together and then some girl offers us coke at the hulk hogan restaurant and he was like wtf is this. Hahaha okay. I dont do coke btw. idk hahah just saying. never attracted me.
So. I just was there, you know. Like… pretending to build a home while also looking for any distraction and little by little these kids like peeked their head out. You know? And I was like - uh..hello hahaha. And they didn’t speak any English and my Spanish classes I only pretended to pay attention. But, little by little, idk. We spent the entire time just playing games. Each day I went and the rest of the group built homes and then I helped them play all of these funny games. And it was so fun cause we showed up and all of these kids would run out from the homes and all the local neighbor moms and families were so happy to see us there - and I just got all the kids playing and we had the best time. Every day we had the best time. And I didnt have to build the home hahhah. But I still got to help us all have an amazing time.
My old regret from that is that not everyone is that thoughtful. But. You know, we can just change media/culture hahaha easy solve. Set hte example
Then I just remember that trip, we all sat in this circle… it was in the lobby of this place. It was a cocoa bean farm that they let kids come and spend a weekend each year at. Liek a kids camp to give them one amazing weekend or whatever.
But we were in the lobby all sitting in a circle, talking about some inspirational quotes or something. And there was a part where they brought up the word, “hope” and I just suddenly had a panic attack and got out of the room and went outside and started crying. And his wife came and talked to me. And I told her I felt I had no hope. I felt I’d never had hope. You know? Idk. She jsut comforted me. And, that was that. I went to bed, woke up the next day.
She offered for me to call her anytime, any night, from there on out, but I didnt take her up on her offer. Just felt liek too much to ask of someone.
So then— thennnsnnenenen then. Next let’s talk about Belize. So— now my story of “me drunk with Kevin at cool beans and then agreeing to go to Nicaragua even though I didnt know where it was”
Now these train guys - lol they’re talking a little loud. They said newsworthy restuanra situations and its was for like - service or something . Idk - they’re so hard to hear. Hahah okay.
Something like watching… part of the important people. He did speak but I didn’t see the press conference. Idk hahaha omg.
OKAY so then the next trip I went on was to Belize.
I was off, with some random people and it was all ages, the “lost” crew, so to speak. And we arrived to help out at an orphanage. They were SO strict - NOOO PICTURES OF THE KIDS!!
My favorite girl who i got along ith best, Miriam. I saw her two years in a row. We hung out a lot and played games andjustenjoyed each others company.. But her fingers curled in a lot. They coudln’t stretch out.
The second year they told me its cause she’s a child of incest. her parents were siblings. and they abandoned her here.
it instantly showed me these kids are not okay. back then i didn’t quite get it at all.
We went with a group and they wanted us to keep giving massages to the staff members. like as an actiity.
and one kid was just stuck literally living in a crib with a diaper his whold life cause he couldn’tn speak and his spine grew wrong, so they jsut ahd him grow up there. he was like 8 years old atleast. just lived int eh crib in teh community room by the tv where everyone hung out.
And I remember, again, the leadres - it was a dorky guy and his girlfriend.
And I remember at one point a little girl spent a lot of time with the girlfriend, just like mentorship, etc. You know? A local girl. She finally said she used to be sold out of her parents restaurant. all of the time. In the back. As a sex slave. And she’d never felt safe to tell anyone before.
She told that to the guy’s wife. This young girl. Idk 10 years old. She wasn’t particularly cute. But so sweet. Sold right there. In real life, in this age. So… it changed my vie of the world. I thought that only happened like in the pioneer/Wild West days and it makes me really sad. Liek saloons or something. Not only in this country, but now it makes me think it MUST be happenign around the USa too. some peopel just don’t care about children. their kids. and theyallow themselves to become monsters. Regulating the process.
So, these kids just get scrapped, sent to orphanages, then taught to trust/love the people there to help them, and then who knows.
So… let me get back to Kevin’s mom. She was amazing. She helped me to get to that trip. But she also really loved Belize. I remember the rotary club had invited us and even the woman who was there, she was cool and she really believed in me. I remember her son had a company out of California that awarded certificates. For completing studies. And she invited me to even join the rotary club lunches sometimes. I always tried to join again, but they were so bad at responding… the one near my house in LFP. If you don’t know, you don’t know.
So, Kevin’s mom was really amazing (as was everyone there… it was the first time people saw me - even I saw myself - at work and not drunk and so happy. Every day was so freaking fun. Helping those kids, helping the (I hate to even write this) the orphaned kids. You know? They wren’t even allowed to love you cause you’d be gone. You know? They had to hold their hearts so tightly cause visitors came and went. And you weren’t allowed to take pictures, leave gifts. Nothing. They were just there to be orphans that you went and helped.
So, we went there, went to a bar each night and drank belekin beer and I remember I got blackout like once or twice on that trip. But, it woke me up too.
Cause when I returned to Knoxville, I got drunk, again, 6 nights in a row. And I woke up the next day and I called my friend - the one in teh rotary club. Crying, crying, crying. I told her that Belize was the best time of my life (both years) and here I am, back in Knoxville, blackout drunk 6 days in a row. Please, please help me.And she told me I needed to move to Florida hahah. Get out of the atmosphere. So, I moved in with family there, near all of those people (the amazing church community, etc) and lived there a few months.
And the thing I want to add about Kevin’s mom, she ended up moving there and adopting a bunch of hte girls. She had a lot of money - her husband had a good job, and she had the biggest heart (though… short hair, which I always feel like that’s a sign you feel a bit powerless, and he wasn’t int he best shape… so you know they tried but I just think they weren’t 100% happy) - cause then, she literally moved to Belize.
She bought a house, adopted 8 of the girls… maybe 9. And then helped them get their lives together and helped them leave the house with their futures a bit more structured. Only one girl I think fell a bit astray (and, so, even if a system was set up, that’s great - we could even have a system with no one falling astray). You know? So… she was amazing. She moved there for a year or two or three… then it was too much, so she moved back. But, she tried so hard and helped those girls.
And the thing I was going to say, is I had that revelation with his parents… you know? I spent a lot of time with them, and I was thinking about how hard people work. The people who work so hard… fishing… you know? The people who literally break their bodies for their careers - they tend to be the ones paid the least. It makes no sense.
The hardest workers, the ones who give up their bodies to their work. Treated liek shit. So often. I’ll say it. It’s not a fair system.
Ugh. Okay. This train is paused. At a station. I have no idea how much longer and dont really care hahah. And I wish I had headphones. But it’s good too to just rest. I want to take a break.
These chairs are so uncomfortable and I feel like the one time I sat in teh first class it wasn’t. These guys over there are talking about het first class or whatever. Its so stupid like showed off as first class but then you look and its not even comfy lol.
Trains, as my 11yo student would say - NEED A REVOLUTION!! Literally.
And btw, my favorite train/maybe any… depending in the day, the movie is snowpirecer (the movie where it turns out literally kids are working in the floors to run the train). I think the first time I saw that was on a plane. Or train. I think it was on a train and then I tried again to show it to my best friend, while we were living in china - ON THE TRAIN TO MY WEDDING - lol. My 5 person wedding.. hahah it was tiny but, I’m not one for commotion.
BUTTT this movie she didn’t like as much, but for me I was like WTF!? How!? This movie is a metaphor for life!!! For real. It blew me away. Can I gush why?? I watched that movie like 100 times after. Cause each time you watch it, it’s more amazing. It the most mind-blowing movie I’ve ever seen and it just makes you completley rethink your role in life. i feel like this movie is part of how i became an ape. you know.
cause that movie was so strong to me… and i think, all of the time, if i were on snowpiercer, what woudl i do? educate. i would do exctly what i’m doing. i wuold try to change the entire system for the sake of teh entire train. to stop. and say… we are smart. we can make life better. and you gotta figure out how to get peopel to realize this. the greed is destructive
So, this movie was wild in so many ways…I jsut want to make list cause I’m sick of paragraphs… no particular order:
(1) This movie was NUTS. I watched like every YouTube video available about it cause the more I learned about it was losing my mind
(2) It wasn’t allowed to be played in theaters. Something to do with Harvey Weinstein.
(3) He watched the movie, then only played a shorter version
which makes me think of in Shanghai when they played a shorter version of the “queen” movie and then no one knew why he broke up with his wife hahaha. (cause, you’re not allowed to show gay stuff on screen i think? like no gay, lgbtq nothing allowed)
(4) Okay - back to point 3… so, Harvey saw the movie, but then he said NO - you can’t play the full movie, you have to only play a shorter version of the movie. So he played it in theaters, a “cut version” which the guy who made the movie DIDNT EVEN LIKE!!! The producer didnt like that version, bong jun ho. But they ignored him, played it, audiences didnt’ like it and then - what? It got blacklisted. STRAIGHT TO VIDEO
(5) So then you’re like okay… what!??!? Why? Hahaha right? Why? So then I mean. Thats that.
(6) So - this movie is STUNNING when you look LEFT its always the back of the train, and then to the right its always the right of the train- the ENTIRE MOVIE. So you always know the left is poor and the right is rich. And at the back are the poor people, and at the right is this, that, the other — various social classes, and then the conductor. Just, as a viewer, it’s incredible. I watched the YouTube video and they said there is only one single shot of that movie where they broke that trend, and its the shot where they take a big turn in the middle of the war/century celebration. At that point you can see through the window and you see the back of the train curving
Just as someone who loves to make content, wants to make movies - this type of stuff is fantastic to me.
(7) all of the actors wanted it to be played, like nation wide. But they all got ignored. So, like hardly anyone even knows of this movie.. andthen they made a stupid tv show about it that is liek 100% worse than the movie - no offense but rally.
(8) THENNNNN the origin story of this movie is insane too. Its wild. Okay? So theres a guy, he’s from Korea (which, btw I literally always wanted to go!!!) and he’s a movie maker and then he’s at a comic book store and he finds this French comic book, (and btw when I was a kid I went through this weird phase where I always heard whatever I said repeated back to me in a French accent in m mind. It was so weird, it lasted like a week.. and everyone just laughed at me. When I was like 10 or something, everything I said, I’d repeat in my mind in a French accent. And I asked my mom for help. It was so annoying and unsettling but she just laughed it off. and eventually it went away. Idk just remembered that)
(9) So, the movie producer, he goes into the comic book store and is browsing and he finds the book and it’s a French comic book and he LOVES it. He loves this comic so much, has never seen anything like it. So he calls the guy, get in touch with him in France. And says, let me make your movie. Let me make this into a movie. And the French guy said he had SOSO SO many people come up to him and ask him to make a movie with this comic book, everyone he said “no” to… but then for this movie, he agreed. He loved his vision. And I mean he did a PHENOMINAL a phenomenal job with this movie. It is stunning, so overrated. So heartbreaking. Even thinking of it I cry
(10) I think of this movie almost every single day. I think of the play, Selling Kabul and Snowpiercer literally almost every single day of my life. Selling Kabul is a play that my friend was in… its the story of a woman who lives in an apartment and her brother has escaped from prison or something, but he’s living in Afghanistan (btw, another country I wanna see sometime, and even my friend would love to go back. I just texted her today causeshe’s an amazing actress and fun). But the story is that he doesn’t want to fight anymore.. the whole family doesn’t want to even be in a war… right? But how do tehy make money? By sewing uniforms. And the dad says, “if we didn’t sew this uniform, how could we pay for our tv?” You know> So the movie is about this.. about trying tosave her brother, but then her neighbor comes over, they’re acting weird, realize. Idk - it’s hard to explain but it’s this 100% relatable story to real life. You know? It’s part of why I do this every day and why I make the choices I made. I dont’ want to do some job forever that I hate. And my only fun is whatever they’re pretending to be fun on the weekends. No. I want to love what I do every day. So... this play represents that… they are stuck in their system, but it’s also their choice. It takes change and strategy, I mean, especially in their scenario. But... you know. Its just a play and reality probably is manageable too - :)
(11) Snowpiercer is a wild movie and it makes you rethink all aspects of life, how our world functions. And every day I think of it. There is nothing fun about any of those sections. Not longterm. (Minus the beautiful gardens/aquarium) hahaha. I mean, it’s stunning.
(12) So we need to learn from that movie - in the sense of building trains… and in the sense of any way it is a poor reflection of our society. But… it’s not like we’re in a scripted play or movie. So, we’ll see how it goes.
These employees talk about some thing for tomorrow. I just feel they are trapped in this horrible system, metaphorically/psycholigcally, though. we all are - many (not me ahhaah) but… this world traps us on purpose into these 9-5’s and then you get so miserable you have to laugh it off.
I literally didn’t even book a train ticket back… so, we’ll see. I’ll not stay long, cause - idk. I like Portland but also, it has that same feeling of like how I felt last-last time in Venice… idk its liek a mix. I love it a lot - some of those buildings are COMICAL to think settlers built them. Hahahaha I mean COMICAL. Comical. Times 100. So thats its own situation right there. But. Yeah. Let’s return, go see the Simpsons’ city. They brag about that on the walking tour. So, maybe we go on that again tomorrow if there is time. Last time I went it was dull. But idk if they do the same tour every time. Let’s see!
They say the game won’t be done in time for the train anyway. The game is at 1… it’ll be packed tomorrow. It’ll be packed.
Okay how is this train doing? It’s so boring outside, you know? I feel like the things that are outside of train windows shoudl embrace it and celebrate so it’s just like a celebration nonstop as you look at the towns. We can fi x this with my “reverse pastel theory” ideas hahah.
- Omg this train is honking a LOT in this town. B ut it makes sense. T hey have to. Wowww nuts. Nuts. You could hit someone so easily here. It’s really dangerous. You know? That part right there we were just at was SOOO fast through that town. Makes me sad just like, we are in 2025 and have so many things not making sense hahaha. I mean, this one Is a bit of a stretch (right? Or no) but trAintracks shoudl be a bit more safe (and maybe entertaining hahaha , somehow? While we wait for the train to go by? But more safe)
These guys are still talking: That’s when they have homework. Do drills. I’ll tell them to sit down and shut the hell up. Fuck you, take you out. (What are they talking about? These guys. “Do you like candy” do you like candy. Omg
Now these guys are talking about the bookstore.
I jsut saw a bookmark by this weird magazine on the chair there. I hate that magazine. Always has monkeys on it. The other day a weird guy called my daughter a monkey when she was misbehaving a tiny bit and I was like GAHHH. I just looked at him like it was an insult. He knew.
Bookstores sketch me out so much - for good reason. You know? Especialyl the one next to the bar in venice beach. its called like “tiny town” or something and i feel like its one of those bookstores with perverse incentives. right there… so tehn these guys talkign like this i’m just like ahhhhhh. geeeeze what. when peopel actually start talking about books like products, not names. like it just sounds off….
These guys say they love the bookstore here, their kindles. Pick them up in your amazon locker. Hard cover, soft cover. Their audio books, different voices for everyone and sound effects and everything. Just different parts and stuff. Even paperback or hard cover.
They said there is no paperback and its liek $20…
you. can go to the book store, read a book leave it there and come back and read it later. some books read on repeat 30-40 times. The whole series.
They’re supposed to be making a tv show, similar to the books.
Yeah it will work really well as a tv show.
Seth mcfarlan is going to help create the covers for hardback books
(UM EXCUSE ME - you mean the guy who made cartoons making fun of bbbyq? so random and lame. bbbyq is amazing and coming back, if you ask me. its teddy restored.)
Ugh okay. I ‘m so sick of writing I want to just take a break. These guys are over here dorking out about books and I dont even want to hear what i think i am hearing
Book 1, grand slam
Yeah this train is not too crowded. I remember one time I met a guy who jsut like went on trains as a hobby. He seemed so depressed, just searching for happiness, drinking wine and tryin gto talk to people… my age. Just said “oh yeah, I’m happy” liek that meme of the dog surrounded by fire drinking coffee.
But he was miserable.
I love trains, but you can’t spend a life on them. Just ask snowpiercer.
Soon it will be time to leave, but just like last time, there’s a noticeable HUGE bag of candy here. Just sitting on the tables here. Halloween candy, they joke and say, “hey, you want some candy” like joking.
There was some candy on a random bag in the cafe last time I took a train too, now that I think of it. Last time I went on the train. For what? feeding to secret kids in the floor like snow piercer??? give me a break.
uugh i just feel like there is such a weird vibe here and i dont like the negativity and like allthese weird convos and everyone being shady and sketchy and talking about how miserable they are withtheir jobs.
The guys say: No bags, a red tag… she’s completely deaf, but other than that, everyone else is pretty (idk) they need a ride to the station to play it safe.
These guys talk as it’s almost time to get off the train and go to Portland. Just 15 minutes left. And I still didnt even book my hotel. I’ll just go and see if they have space at that hostel.
Omg now these guys are just bocking like chickens, these bored cafe guys.
But for real, it’d be easy to be bored on a train. But, that just makes me think of road trips (which used to be fun back in the day! Cause you’d find the most random things entertaining) But… trains are better than boats I think. Boats I just dont like.
I mean… and chicken references. I dont like it.
Lol now these guys are talking about getting gin drunk and they woke up in the cleaning lady’s room or something.
We are sold these drinks. Alcohol
You know. I was told once by my-ex fiance, “people drink cause they think it makes you look cool” and at first I denied it -But then I think he’s super right.
The other dy I was at the grocery store and a girl was like, “I’m a chavanga blanc” kinda girl. You know? “I’m a whiskey guy” - it’s almost like saying, “I’m a classy girl” - but it’s not. It’s alcohol. You know. But they trick us. :) until we learn the tricks.
Then when it’s almost time to leave they close off the cafe and make you leave ealry so they can clean it up.
But as i pack up, I see they just do their standard like, grab their candy - put it in this red bag, a red husky bag with like… lotion on the side? idk.
Then up above is the bleach bottle up top and a megaphone. So loud. what the heck :( All these random supplies here.
“Restricting focus” they say lol. And then carry the bag out. The red and black husky bag.
if you’re looking to see a Red cap workers, only one tonight. White a few of you, but we’ll get to all of you depending on how many need assistance.
I wore my red hat today too (but my Kelly Tutors hat) - okay - let’s head to Portland.
And then I found the hotel and checked in. When I got there, they were nice and let me stay in a bottom bunk.
Even later, I let a guy in ccause he forgot his key - and he had this red backpack and he was like my age/height and said he likes to stop this one area by before checking in, like i said - a door right across from the lgbtq flag, you had to use a sepcial key. He was from out of town and hadn’t even checked in, but it looked like he knew exactly where to go because of hte flag. it was opposite of the flag.
but it was weird downstairs in the basement in the hostel. (cause i’m like, where did this guy go to have fun/get relief or wahtever so fast if he’s not even checked in… this room/entrances right across from the cafe with the lgbtq flag he just knew instnatly, without even having been here before?? he said he just got in town.)
And then inside the bathroom next to the door, cause i used it, were these stickers about human trafficking with a special number to call, sying “human trafficking in our backyard” it was so weird, so i just followed him cause i figured straight can go into lgbytq+ right? + = everyone so i’m everyone… and he went in, so i said… okay, if he goes. in, i go in.
and btw - just the idea of human trafficking reminds me of when the FIFA people were talking about it so vaguely and i was like, are you idding me? are you guys this bad at identifying the signs? Like… its everywhere over the internet. the symbols (butterflies, bunnies, black and white checkboards, spirals, glasses… its so many things and once you know the language its everwhere… so just the fact FIFA’s human trafficking person was like, not even that educated or confident about it??)
So downstairs was just the random storage area (this reminds me of the tour i went on last time in portland where she said so much of hte city used to be storage) and here it has a HUGE oven/freezer big enough to stand inside and a big lever on the handle of the door. Some orders with like one order. on them. like a few orders with. just one order and then some baguettes and some cider. and then a bunch of laundry machines - like a million. i guess for all the bed sheets and stuff.
it had all these signs for luggage storage
then peopel in teh bathroom were so loud, a couple in the bathroom together - lol andthey said that they get rid of hte luggage daily and there were ordering sheets.
just like a downstairs storage area with liek a laundry room, a luggage closet, all these things. and one guy just sat in thelobby for hours with a bunch of laundry in front of him. and it it was all folded for him later by the end of the night lol. so, i think he did his laundry.
omg htat makes me think about noise pollution though :( its so loud in there
and even this was a whole almost secret part and secret elevator and one guy left throwing away a bag of fried chicken and you go up there and it sjust half rooms and half beds and at the end of each are tehse closets net to the handicapped rooms with broken emergeny buttons!!!! and again - this is out of order butwhen you press the button ,nothing happens except you hear a reacton of people moving things into an elevator from above you or someting - from the 5th floor - staff only, and then move it to the 2nd floor. GAH i dont even like to write this its so weird its so weird. It is not right. there is something completley nto right here and i thought it since the first time i came here - but it was a split feeling of nostalgia and like i truly LOVE this place, i feel it with som many hostels… but, like, its not right.
Then upstairs in the lobby later, one lady was FURIOUS that this other woman had used her bed sheets? Or something. they were fightin gwhen i went to see if there were ear plugs (no luck) cause one lady was so angry about antoher woman… she said “she’s sleeping in my bed, in the wrong bed” and they were fighting about bed sheets. and then they said she’s crazy. and she walked off.. but then her room wasn’t too far away and her roommate was yelling at her or something and she’s like “don’t try to guilt me” - so crazy.
i was justlike, dude. this place is so like… non-standard and I would be crazy not to say aloud that this sounds fishy and weird.
it is so weird up there on all of the floors in this one building. they have a closet right next to the handicapped thing room. and then nex tto that is an emergency button, but the button doesn’t work. its like a safety hazard. and even when the alarm went off… no one reacted. no one reacted????
no one reacted when i turned the alarm instead of hte elevator? lol like no one evenflinched or cared or came to help. what if someone was hurt???
I waited there so long cause I wanted to say - ahh! sorry. sorry for that. but then no one came but the moment i pressed the alarm i heard so many loud sounds in the elevator. just huge huge clanking clunking soudns and they were bringing everything down to the 2nd floro. for a while. and then it just stopped at the 2nd floor. llike the moment i pressed the emergency, like all this commotion and then going down floors in the elevator uugh.
anyway. later today/tomorrwo i’ll clean them up. to be a bit more ledgible
and btw, my bed is freaking next to an empty bookcase and a doorway though. Just the way those guys were talking about books, it’s almost like… you could order a book through the doorway? geeze. like its just got to be said. its probably nothing. but. its right there next to my bed. an empty bookcase and the doorway that it’s in front of that you’d hav to move to get to. so. okay. Even sounds ridiculous to say but it’s right there. But idk. Just like coincidence.
yeah this hotel is just so confusing to me. it was moved many blocks (according to te history) by a man and a few oxe. no. this is fake history
I’m hugging a pumpkin (my daughter’s favorite falltime veggetable/motif) and my gamestop sweatshirt in my sleep.
OVERALL EVENT REVIEW:Venue (2.5/5) - i love trains so much, usually i rate them 5/5 but this was so weird. the fashion place was weird. the train was so weird. and even the hostel was weird. so its like i like them all but the reality is that something is extremely off.
Food (5/5) - uh, hahahah idk. Just normal food/water/life provided by myself.
Spekaer Content (2/5) - i heard some really weird things here. so… for the sake of my fight for moass, redeeming bbbyq, all of these things. okay - yes. it was helpful. but i want to hear that our world is thriving, morning to night.. thats the convo style i wanna hear.
Networking (2/5) - the staff member here is extremely nice. i remember him from before and i just feel like he has a kind heart. so i was glad to see him again. and… yeah, not too much networking but i like portland alright.
Until next time, I wish you the motivation and success to search for opportunities around your area. Search and explore: Who is out there giving talks? There are new things happening all of the time.
Find relatable or interesting topics you like and check them out! Maybe even something hosted at a cool venue, if there’s no other reason to go. Let’s see what you can learn and discover not too far from home. 😊
