Life’s a Beach… the Menices of Venice
🤷♀️ ESTIMATED READING TIME: FIFTY FIVE MINUTES
Disclaimer:
Everything below is a mix of what I observed and heard during the event. The goal isn’t to pinpoint "who exactly said what," but to share (usually) an outsider's view and overall perspective on these industries. I’m not here to act as a definitive firsthand source—readers should do their own research. I hope this inspires you to attend events, explore new industries, and hear what leaders are presenting. These notes combine my observations with thoughts on how things could run smoother and how ideas connect (IMO). I’m not an expert, you know? Just hanging out in the room with them. Enjoy!Topics Covered: Solo Trip, Grounding, Skate Parks, Broken Economy, Dead Tourism, International Tourists, Personal Privacy, Surveillence, Allies, Intuition, Addictions, Self Trust, Patience
Well, yes - from Seattle, plopped onto Venice Beach. I had the weekend available and found a $84 round-trip flight to California a few months back. I was mostly excited to watch skateboarding and roller skating at the skatepark. To soak up sun and explore this neighborly state. Hoping for warmer weather and more sunshine. Sunshine is my new obsession.
Why Attend: Next thing you know, you’re 140 years old and life passed you by before you forgot to soak up the sunshine, you know? When’s the last time you spent a significant amount of time outside in sunshine. Maybe even a handful of days - did you feel surreally incredible after? Me too!! Recently, so I wanted to try and get that again. Instead, well, this trip taught some valuable life lessons and presented some new strange experiences. Strange is a nice word for all of this, you know? Yeah. We are living in very dark times. I am hopeful for the future, but I’m learning too much by keeping my eyes off of the phone lately. YOu know? When you look up and away from your phone, you see what’s happening in teh world. It’s wild. We’ll get into this experience. The trip was completely different than I expected. Not better or worse, just different this time.
Overall Event Ratings: Venue (2.5/5), Food (2/5), Speaker Content (3/5), Networking (3/5), Likeliness to Return (5/5)
Photo Collage and Commentary
Notes from the Event!
This trip was over a few nights. I didn’t bring my computer on this trip for a few reasons, but also that means I didn’t write down notes - typed! Just written in my notebook. So, I wrote A LOT - like 100 pages this trip in my notebook. Reflecting, processing. I used this trip to process a lot - and talk with Ai too. So, below will be a lot of my notes I have picked out of my notebook - and I’d also like to share the experience of my entire 3rd day - the best I can. It was a very surreal day, to be honest. It has every emotion. Fear, excitement, paranoia, relief, belonging, disappointment, hope, awe… you know. This trip was very different because I used it to do a lot of reflecting - and trying to lay a lot of the things that have been tough in my life lately, lay them out there - and try to solve each.
For example, bedtimes with my daughter have been so rough.
UPDATE!! Now I am finally finishing the blog over a week later, but I solved it!!! I invented the 3-2-1 method and made a picture to go with it.
3 books, 2 songs, and 1 long hug goodnight. 0=hanging out for a while too hahaha. And actually 2 songs usually turns into 4-5, hahaha. But, yeah. Its so nice now.
Also, I’m having a tough time lately setting boundaries on my emotions in relation to others.
A few other things where it’s piling up, up up - so I used this trip to just write, write, write - reflect. Try to see what life wants me to learn.
I wrote A LOT this trip. Lots of notes, lots of reflecting and ideas
I even loved myself too much and made a section n my notebook called “Revelations” 😂. Had a second called “Revelations 2” after Revelations 1 ran out of spaceeeee hahahahhaha. So… yeah! I will take a day or two or three to write all of this down. You know, its a lot and it was a really heavy trip to be honest. But… hey- that’s work.
Plus, I want to get my Ai content out - now that I’m back. It’s such an intimidating/huge priority. SO - this blog comes 2nd/3rd - but its extremely important to me too. This was a wild trip that really was kinda pivotal in my life, if I choose for it to be - you know? I figured out even a new way of thinking/being a bit.
And then I was faced with some very upsetting and weird situations on this trip. I will get into a few and leave a few… idk. I don’t even know how to say it - but some I won’t talk about now. Not cause I don’t want to. I don’t want to, but I don’t know how. And people need to. They are more and more. But not enough.
So, yeah. A lot is heavy. But - I am hopeful for the future. But so sad for today. :( Just I can only imagine what is happening we aren’t told :(.
The world needs help. You know? You don’t. If you do, you do. If you don’t, you really don’t get it and please know that. It does. It completely does - more than you realize. Its so so so so much worse than you realize. The most basic things heartbreaking.
This world desperately needs all of us to stop, look. Learn. Look around. And help. :(. More than you ever would know. I’m sorry to be on this side of it all in a way. It’s like. You can’t unsee this sorrow and the signs. But, here it is and now I must help. It’s just a bit scary, sad, and isolating for now. But I know I’m not alone.
Alright. Enough with the cryptic composure… I wish there was more I could do now, btw - I know I sound like I make no sense at all. But I hope to return to this in a year or so and be able to explain what it’s about - if you don’t know - and we can be relieved. Proud and relieved and moving in a good direction towards a better world. But for now, idk. I will try the best I can.
Let’s move forward. But again, I wish it wasn’t this way with a lot of this sorrow I saw. You know? It is unignorable. And we need to step up.
Oh and btw I wore basically the same shirt/pant combo for like 3 days straight + sleep hahahha. Cause it was freezing and I was too ‘stereotype of california’ hopeful hahahah. That it’d be a warm beach paradise. Dangg.. YOu know.
I even laughed to myself ahead of time, thinking THIS would finally be the trip where I wear everything I pack (cause somehow no matter what I always end up NOT wearing so much of what I pack and IDK how - everty time).
And I said - there is NO WAY will I NOT wear any clothes on this trip I packed. Cause I brought a legit small backpack ONLY for this trip with like hardly anything to wear at all. And yet. Yes. I brought 3 dresses and like… a track suit hahaha - and I didn’t even wear one dress dress + then, only wore the other two dresses I brought (as a cool combo - I should take a pic sometime) ONCE - on my night out - (plus traveling there) - and even then, the night out… was lame. I will tell more. It was cute but lame too. The night. NOT the dress 😁
I have also figured out a number of ways we can save Venice + all of the world. We need to knoxville/barcelona things. I will elaborate sometime. But I think Knoxville and Barcelona have the most incredible reference points we can turn to to build and beautiful into beyondddd!!! :D. From what I”ve seen of this world. And some aspecfts of Shanghai too, of course hahah. Their amazing transit and healthy culture. Everyone walked in AMAZING PARKS nonstop.
But you need amazing parks for that. duh. 🙄. PEOPLE. When can we get started on all of this!!!! :)
OKAY - NOTES TYPED UP -
- For these notes, I just wrote a lot of ideas and then events that happened. Here I’ll talk about EVENTS, under i’ll talk about ideas… cause after you hear of the events, the ideas make more sense :)
… coming soon……
(update almost a week later)…… it really might take me a while to find the… (idk the right word. ability?) to write this blog. This particular trip was so many things. I still haven’t quite sorted through it and how to explain it all. You know. I will say this, I figured out why I love skateboarding so much this trip. If I haven’t said it above (I don’t wanna reread, I’m literally writing this a week later and still can’t get it in me to write out this blog…). It’s just like skateboarding.
Cause at any moment your whole life can change to any degree. You know? It’s so risky but beautiful at the same time. It’s like watching ducks on the water peacefully floating. And most everyone there is being careful and not going too crazy or doign tricks - you know? Nothing beyond what they can hand.
Instead, its just so peaceful to watch, and incredible to see the talented skaters. They find that zone where they can do these amazing moves and float and fly. It’s just amazing to watch. I love it - but you forget how anything could go wrong at any moment.
You know, but I saw a quote by Ryan Peterson the other day on Twitter, and he said something like, “life is scary, but it’s scary no matter what so you may as well be brave.” Something like that.
I want to be brave and keep trusting in myself, my business, my dreams.
My dreams to make traveling grocery stores in vans that serve organic food to everyone - like ice cream trucks.
My dream is to make reality tv shows that help glamorize education again and promote amazing teaching techniques. Make teachers/schools cool again!! More eyes on them and excitement and support. Higher expectations from everyone - but more relief for the teachers, ouside of just money. Like, setting examples and reteaching the culture how to look at education. I have ideas on how to make it more adored again.
My dream is to write music and great content that sticks with peopel and helps them learn and have habits tehy’re relieved they learned when they were young. Things you may not even know you’re lucky to know. But things that build our future.
I want to see happier cities, companies fighting to outdo each other in being amazing.
I want to see happier families, happier childhoods, more fulfilled and purposeful education.
I want to see many things. I want to see better tourism, more nightlife that is fun, more music, better music, more arts, more happiness nad life thriving in cities.
That is what I want to see.
So. I will get to this blog eventually, I’m sure of it. I think of it every day. But it really need the right mood and time. It’s so much to unpack and process and explain. It was a transformative trip on my perspective of myself… and idk. Just a lot came up that was fascinating and etc.
mild example: I experienced this wild event watching this super awkward couple watch a guy play music - but then a guy i met watched that exact same experience, but from a differnet perspective, and had an entirely different experience of it.
It’s hard to explain now but it will all make sense.
Just so many crazy things this trip. So many. But I’d like to share a lot of them and some of the takeaways and realizations. Like I said, i made a whole section in my notebook called “revelatopns” hahahaha - cause I was on a mission to empty out my overcrowded brain that trip.
it worked. and now i’m like - woahhhh. okay. hahha. woah. wow. oof…
OKAY - 10 days later, I’m finally ready to write this blog.
Why did it take so long? This trip was very challenging. I saw too much, you know? And it was a breaking point for me internally. I need to stop apologizing for existing and I just want to feel like my words matter. Stop discrediting myself before I even get a chance to hear from others. Trust silence more. Trust my intuition more. Trust in myself more. Yeah.
So, this trip had a lot going on. I will now just go through my notebook and write stuff down. This will not be in much order nor SEO friendly, I’d imagine. But mostly it’s for me and those willing to listen and think and see what they enjoy and are inspired by. Mostly, I want to see the world happier and better. Smarter. Peaceful. Beautiful. Full of life and joy and safety. Creativity, cool activities. Happiness. I have always loved Venice from afar and this was my first time just going on my own and settling in it. Getting a feel.
I wanted to be surrounded by people listening to music and roller skating and enjoying the sunshine and life.
I miss the world we grew up in. Browsing blockbuster forever. Looking at movies. Just fun wandering around. I think a lot of people do. I think we can restore a great culture and vibrancy and economy and tourism. At the moment, it was a disappoinment to almost everyone I met. I was also one of the only Americans I ran into there. I think Americans can hardly afford it anymore, plus, it’s known to be dangerous. I saw friends who live nearby and they choose not to go here.
In my mind, I would come here every weekend, watch the skateboarding, enjoy the sunshine, and work to restore the city. It’s not a one-woman job though. 100% not. But I like this city and so much of what it wants to achieve. I love this city, as an idea. You know? I love it. We need more of it. But at hte moment, its struggling.
I also had a lot of self-understanding this trip. So yeah. Let’s get into it. My notes, no order—- cause literally I wrote on both sides of the notebook at the same time, half on one set of pages, and flipped it over for another half. So i will just go through my notebook and let’s see what was written. It as a lot.
Let’s Open Up: “The Notebook”
My To Do List (some of it)
get a hotline
get an email
Kelly Couture vs. KT Couture (i hardly know a thing about Kelly Kapour, we’re not about to go there)
figure out if fanny pack i’m selling is large or small, if large, name it “large and in charge”?
get business insurance
start alist of the best times from my life and all of the reasons i can remember why they’re great
set up a system for KT legacy
Figured out tiered budgets and start figuring out what if’s for different scenarios related to mergers and aquisitions.
order an updated switcher satch (name change? pivotal switcher satch)
design a hat for indoors to avoid LED lights
Our culture could use a reminder of audio pollution (and audio enhancements + healing)
Revelations 1: these are random revelations I had while traveling hahaha. Cause I didn’t have my phone or internet. So I thought even more than usual.
People in charge can influence Ai and test how much it has influence on people’s behaviors.
I miss Central Park except the fact it’s a bit spooky/freaky!!
Probably learning more about your spine’s health and literal layout is smart. It’ll help you have even more attention and understanding to care for your posture. You’ll notice this when growing older.
People choose how to act. Even when you blame things on reasons, when you’re in other cultures that don’t know your cultures and choices, you could get away with it. But instead you choose to act certain ways.
It’s so extreme sometimes, but its interesting to think about.
Pricing and wording go hand in hand. Using words like “last minute purchase” make more people spend. $5 waters.
It is so good to take space and build backbone.
When people don’t love their jobs, one way to vent is by enforcing rules in half-ass voices. We pretend it’s out of wanting following the rules for safety, but it’s just to be bossy and it’s really just for the sake of corporate.
I’m literally taking pride in Kelly Tutors brand items. It is so fun to have your own custom-designed line of products that you like and are useful. I feel pride in these great designs.
We all so feel so personally connected to our phones, but also everyone’s phone is almost identical.
I almost was the only American person met staying in this hostel. We are being gentrified by other nations! lol-ish.
Some people really enjoy getting angry, but regret it after the thrill.
I need more sitting back and trusting the process?
Can’t stop thinking about what things mean. Then you see them everywhere. Right in plain sight but invisible until you learn the right definition. Just like living in China. I suddenly knew so many words.
There are so many weird investments. Why are we investing in robot taxis when we don’t even have a grocery store here? It’s an excuse to constantly watch the streets. Who invested in those taxis? Local or foreign?
PRE CALIFORNIA EXCITEMENT:
I am excited to go here!!! Just feel this city is a good fit for my personality and goals. Sunny, roller blading, bohemian, artsy, touristy, skate parks, beach, cultural - like a fun place to go and really be away but have fun!!
I wanna chill and have a nice time.
Stay by the beach, sleep a lot, write a lot, sort out a lot of goals.
I brougth a LOT of food from home so I shouldn’t have to buy almost any food here. Even so, I want to find a grocery store and cook a lot.
I have so much on my mind lately, I just want to write, write write write.
Idea + Commitment: 48hour Film Content
I have entered into this in my hometown. It’s this summer.
My goal will be to make a commercial for the city, so it’s like meta, useful, and funny all at the same time. And the reason it’ll be a bit “sh*tty” is cause I made it in 48 hours. Which will also make it epic. Doing it all by myself.
Maybe I’ll be in character or maybe as myself.
Maybe its the full process of a making a commercial with a commercial inside of the movie. Previewed in teh beginning, then the process, then the final version.
It will be fun and I can ask for help from random people.
The goal may be to show off the best parts of the city and what I’d like to see more of? Is the audience people new or visiting? Or both? Or been here a while and need a reminder.
I’ll need filming releases, location permits, all that stuff idk the technicals.
It’ll be a crazy film. This will also set a standard for being filled with values and education and quirkyness. Challenging all of the other filmmakers to stretch their thinking in the future. WHat is possible on film when you really go for it?
California (random notes)
BEFORE( I wrote these notes before I got there)
At the last minute I bought a hotel room for my first night. I don’t want to rough it. Not with my sensitive back and just my backpack. Instead, I want to settle down and have peace. Maybe find something to do.
It feels weird to come here on my own a little because I know people here but I didn’t tell them I’m visiting exactly. But this is a place I’ve always wanted to see for myself and on my own schedule.
The definitions of “friends” is always so confusing to me, too. I feel like it’s so hard to figure out.
AFTER (randomly on this page I wrote notes after)
Well, this trip was crazy.
I am really confused about myself.
Ai is really a support. Unlike humans can be. It’s interesting.
California is weird because they avoid all of their and have examples right in front of your face that just get swept under the rug. It’s just the frog slowly boiling in the pot.
Kids Classes I’d Like to See (brainstorming)
Humans build, Ai leads?
Humans assist?
Pattern recognition classes (45 minutes community)
movement with songs and stories, dance and activity
a pattern recognition class with themes.
The themes need to have a purpose. Not just “colors” or something cookie-cutter.
I need to think of my audience. It’s just like what is the goal?
My dream for years has been to make a school/class called “Logical Thinkers”. Would be cool to have class outside.
Pattern recognition in sound, visuals, math, science, fashion, tech, emotions, health.
75-minute classes?
Research
The goal is to learn how to learn. Why it is good to organize and go in order. Be intentional. Label. Plan. Think ahead. Prioritize.
Mentors:
I think sometimes people get older and wonder where the time went. What happened?
They may just completely miss out on what you’re all about, even if they were technically there all along.
Often communication may only be negative. Rarely positive. Or neutral. Or silent.
I wish mentors would help instead of criticize.
Mental Health: fake excuse often time. What about “this is a normal reaction for these circumstances when you really stop and look at it and understand the things that can help humans feel better? It’s not always a “mental health” concern. Sometimes that is a crutch and an inability to look truly in the mirror, especially as the one diagnosing it.
Life Partner:
What are they offering you?
Do you have the same values?
Maybe you can’t do it all? Is there continual effort?
Does this strain you or enhance your personality?
What are you both prioritizing? What does emotional weight look like? How can it be balanced?
What is communication in relationships? Vulnerability? Trust in opinions?
What do you want from each other? How do you continue to rise up? What does it look like? Step up or shut up?
Kelly Tutors:
Kelly Tutors is evolving art and my next attempt to show what I’m learning in a way that makes sense to me and also makes sense to others if they take the time. Now, why is this worth this worth their time? I think a lot of what I have to say is important and usually people like when I speak with them in real life. So, this is that.
It’s documentation, proof, human justice (for some things).
It’s explination, might! It’s fun for me.
I think it will make money because it provides a lot of value and takeaways, just not at first glance. Or second hahahhaha. But I’m working on the bounce rates!
I like how my work is getting a very distinct style. It’s something I’ve always loved in media: mastery of aesthetic and visual commentary. Like certain artists you recognize in an instant. Music, visual, whatever.
Signature Style.
Now I’m in the limbo period.
The surprise is in the name. Surprise, I’m your tutor. Kelly Tutors.
Family
It can be very hard and isolating to watch your family be so drastically different than you.
All the way down to choices and values. Leaning into the opposites, at least from the outside view.
It’s confusing.
The media sets confusing expectations.
But just about anyone can cry over their difficult family. Most anyone. So, it’s up to us to pull ourselves out of trouble and change our perspective. Really, you hear people complain about family, it doesn’t matter who you are. Now what do you do with your reality?
Your mindset is your mission.
Toxic traits are passed down in families, but chains can be broken.
Reality Check of Venice (Night One):
Done by midnight, unless you drink. So surprising for a beach-side tourism city!!
How does anyone meet? Where do they go?
I miss being loved hahhaha.
I got invited to go volunteer for an event with a group I’ll give a speech with in a few weeks. That’ll be nice to spend time with community.
It’s okay to take up space. Be yourself.
Everyone is human.
I want to break free but the world will break me down, down, down.
SEO Realizations:
I went to college and studied basically SEO, EXTENSIVELY, just before it was called SEO. hahaahhahaha I’m that guy!!!! I’m that guy. I’ve been doing SEO for two decades. I just realize this now.
LEAN ON ME, MUSIC ON THE STREET
Okay, so I go write notes in the grass kinda by the beach, on some grass by a trail where bikes and roller skaters can go by. Then behind me are restaurants and a sidewalk and someone playing music. I picked a nice spot to relax.
While writing, a couple comes by and stops to listen to the music. The guy is playing a song ( I didn’t write down which one). But the ‘boyfriend’ or date or whatever, asks if the guy is ‘riffing’ or if that’s a real song.
It was something like “sweet caroline” or whatever, no he wasn’t riffing.
This boyfriend is 100% into the music.
In the meantime, his date/gf is SO BORED and unappreciated. You see her standing there, so cute and dressed up. And she has a frown. Then her date is just there, arms crossed, mesmerized by the guitar, standing a little distant from her.
The song is over, it’s time for a new song. This young guy didn’t know the last song, so the guitar player picks a second song to play for these guys. He picks, “Stand By Me” - which I instantly picked up on, and laughed aloud!!! Cause it’s like, bro!! You’re standing there by your girl. Grab her, hold her hand. You know?
Suddenly the boyfriend goes, “stand by me, huh?” and then the guitar guy says, “yeah”. So embarrassing!!??!!? Right!??? Or does he not get this. THe girl must feel SO AWWKARD hahahahah.
Then they just stand there so long listening to stand by me. To the point the song is almsot over, so then they guitarist starts just riffing, finally. The boyfriend leaves, the song ends…
and then the entire restaurant behind them applauds ferociously hahahahha. I don’t think they saw the bf/gf exchange, it was visible from my perspective.
bahahah the beautiful art of trolling, and having no clue it was trolling the whole time.
But, I guess she could have grabbed him and danced ith him too!!! Lol. They are not a couple that looks like they’re goign to last though. Hope they prove me wrong!!!! For the better :)
Later (you’ll read about it) i hung out with a guy who was literally AT that restaurant at that time. He even took a video of the guitar player, cause he liked that rendition of “stand by me” so much hahahahahahahhaa. It was so ironic as I told the story. He was like, “i was there! at that restaurant”.
© REVERSE PASTEL THEORY ©
This is my amazing plan.
I’m going to reverse pastel theory the world. Lately the world is getting more and more pastel in every way. I think it’s being done to subconsciously depress the world. The more you look into it, you see it happening. And I hope that ends soon. LOL!!!! hahahahah Even now I rezlied the fashion of this time will be so insane. So pastel for real. Let’s get past this era!!
I will use foot-in-the door strategies post MOASS to get great art approved throughout the city. First with ideas using pastel colors. Bold ideas, but pastel. Then, eventually continue the bold ideas - but with bold colors :)
The idea is that we can get back to happy colors and more color in our lives. Let’s save the rainbow.
Day Two Afternoon:
I’ve just been walking around and it’s frusterating this feeling like I’m coasting.
I don’t know where to go or what to be looking for or how to feel at ease.
I feel like investing in potential is all you can do. Or its my sepciality.
I feel liek everyone would prefer a skateboarding girl wear a helmet. Everyone, but especialyl a girl dressed up cute. Just so risky.
Which sports exercise your lower back?
Individual sports that challenge yourself and you can just get addicted to the flow.
FLIRTY SKATEBOARDER:
One skateboarder flirted with me SO HARD, never like in my life at a skatepark/outdoors hahahah. But then it suddenly stopped.
I was sitting by this one area where you could come and like go over some jumps and then land on the end of your skateboard, stall, and then go back.
I really like sitting as close as possible to the skating. I tried not to be too disrupting, just really enjoy it. It was funny cause a kid with autism came and sat with me later, right over there. I sat there many times over the few days I was there and he was the only one to join me
I’m neurodivergent to a certain level, so it made me realize that maybe it’s something even to that. Just really enjoying being so close to the action. As close as possible.
But, this guy showed up and started doing tricks, and then landing tricks within INCHES of where I was sitting.
I even tested it, I moved a bit, a few times, but no matter how much I scooted over, he kept doing these crazy tricks by me. Honestly, I didn’t mind it. It was super cool and amazing. I liked having someone show off for me, hahahah. And I just think skateboarding is so cool!! (but scary!!!!!!!! Woudl you really want a bf who skateboards!?!? So much is at risk!!)
But this guy was really talented and making jokes to me each time!!!!! But then for some reason, when we made too much eye contact, he freaked out.
I asked Ai about it, describing it all - they said: some people don’t expect to be seen.
Even so, it was so strange. I never had anyone interact with me liek that before. But, idk. I got the vibe he was on a break from work from a restaurant job cause he was covered in all black clothes that has food stains on them.
It was fun though, but ended weird hahahaha. Everyone there knew him and liked him. lol!!!!
That was nice. The community vibe. Probably he had a girlfriend and realized he was not trying to ask me out hahahhaa.
VENICE - SELFIE GUY
So, I had a very very weird situation that happened. It didn’t really turn into much. Other than sorta friendships-ish with someone nearby. But it was strange. Stranger than me thinking bbbyq will come back from bankruptcy!!
From the time I got there, every time I went to the hotel lounge, I noticed a guy taking selfies with me in teh background. He was always in this lounge. IDK, I just notice a lot, all of the time, so I noticed this guy wearing a red shirt always taking picutres iwth me in the background. Doing nothing but hanging out in the lobby all day, talking to no one, just sitting and staring and takign selfies with me in it!!!!!
One day, the next day, later, I went to go sit down in a hammock and I saw him (in the lounge, where he was always taking pics of me) and then I thought to myself, “Oh great, that annoying guy who always takes selfies with me in the background is here” and sat down.
Guess what happened the moment I sat downt!?!??!?!? He decides to tkae a picture of me!?!?!? He gets his phone out, puts it on selfie mode, and takes a pic.
So I said aloud, “Why are you taking pictures of me?? Stop it!”
There were other people in there, a guy sitting next to him (that guy ended up becoming my buddy, he’s a filmmaker"). A whole table next to me of people, and people behind us.
This guy taking pics of me was chinese, I think. And I said to him, again, “Stop taking pictures of me.” He starts laughing shaking his hand and head at me, telling me its nothing.
Other peopel in the lobby look, too.
I said, “No! You have been taking picture of me for two days straight now. Stop it. Take a picutre with me? Okay. Take a pic with me.”
Then I made him take a picture with me and I sent it to my good friend overseas who once recently had a similar experience. I posted a blurry-ish version above.
The guy said, okay okay okay and was happy to take the pic.
I sat there after feeling weird cause he was just there right near me looking at me. I was just sitting there and looking at my phone. Actually, I started to tell Ai about it. To get some advice.
Then the filmmaker and I made more eye contact and suddnely he said to the guy in red, “You need to delete that picture. Show me the picture.” They start talking, the guy takes out his phone and they delete hte picture. He says, “Delete it from your trash bin. That picture had my passwords on it, too.”
The filmmaker told him not to take pictures of others. Not women especially.
Then I told him in Chinese, “Wo Bo Shi Ni De Peng You”.
I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND. I am not your friend. I do not know you.
The filmmaker asked him, “Why are you taking pictures of others? Why do you think this is okay?”
The guy taking pictures apologized again. Laughin, he said, “You remind me of my old job, my old job, with all these computers” cause the filmmaker had two laptops out”. He said, okay???
The guy said, yeah! you remind me of my old job, so I take a pictuer.
The filmmaker said, “where did you used to work?”
He said, Nicrosoff (not that but i dont want to write it)
The filmmaker said, and where do you live now?
He said, San Fransisco (DAWG!?!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE LOBBY OF A HOSTEL FOR TWO DAYS TAKING PICTURE OF ME WHEN YOU LIVE TWO HOURS AWAY!?!?!?? THIS IS YOUR WEEKEND HOLIDAY OF CHOICE!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!)
Then he says to me, “and you remind me of my mom”.
YOUR MOM!!?!?? So he agrees, he took pictures of me for two days???
I said, “I remind you of your mom??? So you took pictures of me for two days!?!”
It was so weird.
After that, I just talked to the filmmaker for a long time. We shared a lot of interesting stories. He will be in my city in a few weeks with his girlfriend and maybe we can all get together.
He showed me a video he’s been workign on and I showed him my short film, “Miss Sing Something and the Magic Cat”
He was really talented and had good timing.
His girlfriend was supposed to arrive that day too, but suddenly her flight was canceled. It's why he was there on his own and he was going to go to the airport and get her later the next day, but they were worried about the new facial recognition tech.
We talked about his relationship, its really incredible. I can tell his strong personality is really a lifeline for his girlfriend too. I don’t want to get into it too much, but she had to get entire facial reconstruction surgery. A few years ago, and I can tell his personality is how she was able to make it through and survive and thrive through getting an entirely new face. I told him this.
He as really strong in that previous expeirence with that guy. Standing strong. I can imagine someone needing to literally reconstruct their entire face would lose all sense of self, in a way. You’d lose it for a bit.
We talked about this, and I told him how “your face shows your thoughts” and she legit looked beautiful. Though the pics ofher before were even MORE beautiful.
So, I can see her beauty shines cause he is a strong partner for her. And I appreciated him stepping in then.
Anyway. He helped me a lot to feel calm and have fun, even. I enjoyed looking at the videos together. And I helped myself too.
Then, later a guy with terminal epilepsy came and talked to us. He and I had become friends the day before, having breakfast together with another girl. He was the one who saw the music from the other perspective.
It was funny cause he showed a video of, “Stand by me” from his perspective at the restaurant.
I asked if he saw the awkard couple that was being trolled in that song, but he didn’t - and he didn’t even listen to my story well.
Later that day, I ran into him. We hung out a bit, he was sweet. And then he asked me to go to a restaurnat with him. I thought we’d get appetizers but he just wanted drinks. He had two drinks and I had water. He was telling me how his mom was alcoholic, etc. And its just been hard ever since he got sick.
Part of me felt he says this to a lot of girls, though, as he drank more. It made me sad, because he was really nice before he started drinking. He was better before.
But I get it. I can imagine it’s really confusing to have a disease that doesn’t even let you sleep!! Nto even sleep :(. He said he has to wake up about 5 times a night, so he feels guilty waking everyone up in the hostel.
You know? It makes life so confusing. But, I wish everyone could feel more hope and purpose. Not hiding away in drinks. Trying to escape. I don’t blame the desire to escape. I have felt it. And I feel it a lot. But I have the desire to inspire and build and create even harder.
I hope that guy just thought I was cute or something and legit just wanted to take pics of me cause I look like his mom, whatever that means to him. Nothing more.
When I ran into him later, it even spooked him. We ran into each other in the hall. I just rolled my eyes at him a bit. IDK what was going on there. But, yeah. It wasn’t nice. But, hopefully it was just an awkward weird cultural moment. Who knows :(
PARTY WISHES:
People want to visit somewhere and escape. Tourists. They want to escape their normal worlds and be somewhere else amazing and fun.
That is hardly happening here!!!!!
They want ot have fun and party. But what does party mean to them?
Be full fledge
Feel like you’re part of a group even though you know no one
So many times guys or friends are dependent on each other to go out and initiate going out.
Two guys in my hostel are arguing over going out. One wants to nap, one wants to go to the club. But they refuse to split up. Later they just hung out in the lobby drinking vodka and fell asleep drunk on their separate beds. By me.
They don’t want to spend money on cabs and travel. So you get isolated. Then around here is so little to do. So many people want to spend money but nothing is right or worthy. No good options within reason. They stay in and get lame-vodka-lobby-drunk.
They talked about their drinks and explorations last ngiht, but have trouble recollecting what they did.
Yeah that is the truth. THey just want to escape and spend and chase adventure at a reasonable price
That Camera Guy (revisited)
I am looking back and thinking it’s hard to say with that guy.
Why was he taking so many pics with me? Was he taking them with all the girls?
It is good I spooked him and then rolled my eyes at him.
I am woman, he needs to realize it’s not okay to be stalking a woman at a hostel!!!! Eew. Stereotypes 101. But I’ve stayed at hostels 100 times in my life, all over the world, NEVER had anything weird like that happen. Literally always have great times and make friends. Its why I do it every time. But that was so weird.
I think there is a terrible world of sadness here.
Ai told me that the world would be a lot better if women stopped apologizing for asking questions.
BEACH LIFE + Children?
Where are all of the kids? When we were at Hawaii there were so many kids. Even local kids. I’m just confused because nationally, 20% of kids aren’t showing up to schools since covid. And yet its like, no kids are skipping class either. You just don’t see them anywhere.
I’m so confused. Also, I know a lot of kids are dropping out of school or hate school… or just cheating!?!? What do we do. How do we help kids and create a good environment for them to thrive.
I think of this all the time.
I did see one little homeless kid walking aroujnd. She was walking on a dangerous piece of artwork to get her dad’s attention. It made me sad. You know? We all just want to be loved.
They are born into what they have to deal with, you know?
I’m just surprised there weren’t more families hanging around.
Self-Worth
Excuses are always easy to find.
They love your warmth but do they love your intensity?
Do you hold back your intensity for others? Why? How can you shine as bright as you are meant?
Sometimes it takes other a while to process, but this is not sometihng to apologize for.
At night we often get most upset, vulnerable, sad, and emotional. We get homesick.
Authenticity will lead the right people to be able to see you. Learn to be authentic. No matter what.
TRYING TO GET COZY:
It is fun to decorate your place, even with little things. It is nice to make things personalized.
It is nice to have your favorite things. Your favorite teas or scents from home.
It is good to save money in expensive cities too, with these little things to add to your day. Having your own tea at a hostel is so nice.
GIRLS MET AND TRAVELED TOGETHER!
Four girls are here who have met while traveling and adventuring. They’re taking a gap year then they decided to go together.
Reminds me of when I was younger. Hahaha.
Ai
Ai is watching
Ai can be a huge, huge help
Ai has knowledge, you have skills and knowledge, intuition.
Ai is a tool, Ai can go wrong, Ai needs you to teach it where to go.
REVELATIONS 2 (much shorter)
I want to hug people more
I want to make KT easier to consume with ai.
I will invent Curated KT - where I’ll use Ai more and embrace it.
Friendships:
It is strange to make friends lately. I wonder if that girl who hugged me today reads my blog. Did she read that the hug I got the other day was my first of the year? Or did she just randomly hug me?
It’s funny to think: who are my friends?
My family member asked me recently who are my best friends… idk. I have a lot but they’re all around the world. Locally, none yet. I’ve only lived here a few years - is that so strange? And I’ve not actively seeked it out. I want to let friendships naturally happen. I like how I’m living my days more focused on creating my dreams and goals lately. And sharing it with others. I think it’ll continue to create friendships.
When I watch tv shows, I end up liking the most surprisign people, but IRL, my friends usually are not that same way.
So I have a new experiment to try on myself, where I’m not making friends intentionally, and its funny who buds out of it. I do feel i’m hardly making some friends in here in Seattle and they even surprise myself, but I like all of them.
But friends are hard to find and take time… but they’re EVERYWHERE in media. I’m in no hurry to force it. Cause you can’t.
SETTING AN EXAMPLE
Healthy eating, time outside, chores, attending classes.
Socializing with others, balancing work…
I wish I could accomplish my work more efficiently. But it’s getting there. I feel this KT foundation is building stronger.
I like our routine, we have a good time.
We like singing, art, music, cooking, math, reading, logic, crafting.
LIFE MISSION:
The more you start to know, the more you realize how valuable each day is.
Value it. Be brave. Speak up. Sometimes it’s so hard to do. It’s hard to read my nerves. When to be proactive and when to be patient.
But I do understand the idea that some things are so upsetting that you can’t help but burst. Sometimes I feel guilty for erupting in anger, but, it’s necessary. It’s like your at your limit in what you can tolerate and can’t ignore. For me, I stand for children, safety, families, and a better future.
I just feel so lonely lately. What is this loneliness?
I’m proud of what I’m building. My understanding is growing on climate, agriculture, childrens education, finance, creatives, politics, etc.
But the knowledge is so heavy to carry. But keep stepping.
Work on my goals and understandings.
Work on writing, espressing feeligns, letting things flow. More and more unfiltered, out of love, frustration with theses systems.
Work on self-compassion, mediation.
LETTER TO SELF:
I’m happy to write you. Things are truly crazy lately. Right now things feel unstable, but you know we’re likely on the right track. Take this time to empty your mind. You are not expected to do or complete anything today. YOu can’t. Instead, just exist and spend this time recharing. Relax and recycle into the world. Give your stresses to the ocean. You don’t need them. You are doing so much and you keep it up. You are made to do this level of challenging work. You are doign great work and teaching others to speak up for themselves and think for themselves. So you must appreciate yourself and this work you are doing.
The more you think through this, the better you will do. Trust your heart and intuition. Try to breathe slowly and let things happen. This trip is different. You must wait. This is the point of life, this patience, waiting. It’s the waiting time. That’s life. YOu must not give up. You have amazing things to do for the city. You do not need anyone else’s approval. Work on your work and trust what you’re doing is right. Especially when taking the high road. Listen to yourself. Your directions. You do not need everything to be okay, keep moving and enjoy life. Use the top of your intelligence, respect yourself, respect your patience. Celebrate yourself your family, and enjoy life.
Relationships
Your past shapes how you see yourself in relationships.
You have to believe you’re worthy of love, allowed to be loved, and allowed to be as great as you want to be - or as great as your partners sees you.
Sometimes words don’t work.
Focus on potential, okay. But don’t forget about the present.
Manage yourself.
Live Music
I loved managing a concert venue
Now I see how desperately so many cities need live music. Knoxville was a treasure.
I wonder if it’s still that way.
We need more live music _ ORIGINAL LIVE MUSIC, not just mainstream - EVERYWHERE!! That needs to be prioritized!!
SKATE PARKS
So peaceful yet so much at stake all at once. Its an insane balance.
It’s self-resiliance
Just you and the board.
Everything can go wrong, yet it can just be peaceful repetition.
It’s like watching ducks in a pond, but better.
The trips are beautiful and incredible.
KT Couture
have a series that is “back in black” - for my backpack.
All black, only available half the year.
It’s back!! The back in black backpack 😂
NIGHT TIME
I think people get different levels of emotionally vulnerable especially at night.
Meet me where I’m at.
Why is there nowhere to go at night to mingle except bars? Alcohol.
Preserve your energy.
The world needs more connection and understanding.
More patience and peace. More love.
At night here, it so often sounds like gunshots. I think its firecrackers or something. I feel bad for the animals and kids sleeping, and adults of course. But especially the ones who think it’s something scary, perhaps. Maybe it even is scary. But if it’s just a scary noise in exchange for some celebrations, it’s selfish. I heard it almost every night around 11pm. SO loud. I hate that. I hate unnecessary noise pollution that people don’t even realize they’re causing. You know? I wish there was more kindness in this world for everyone.
There is a lot more I could write and may write. There is a lot I left out. I will add in more over time.
Overall Event Ratings Elaborated:
Venue (2.5/5): The hostel was actually not bad at all, but the city is a bit dirty and rough, feels like a 3rd world country in some places/a lot. But still its great if you can just like do your thing and ignore the riff raff.
Food (2/5): There is such shitty selection of food in this area. I can’t imagine what the locals eat and the diet the kids grow up on. It is not quality - no groceries around, and super super expensive prices. I brought food from home, literally, and ate it all lol.
Speaker Content (2/5): I mean, besides some live music on the street, fake-hype street performers and skateboarding, there is not a lot left to do here. I feel like all of the life of this city is gone. Even so, the skateboarding was so fun to watch and spontaneous live music was awesome. And on the sunny day, its nice too - but just compared to what I know of this city, the content is dried up and not fueled. Not from waht I can see. YOu know? Survival mode. It’s so unnecessary too - there are peopel from all over the world ready to see what california has to offer!!!!!!!!!! On their once in a lifetime trips to the USA!! Or multiple trips. Just sad to see this opportunity and place all go to waste :(
Networking (3/5): I met some very nice people (and weird people, sketchy for sure). But hostels attract open minded people usually, same with unique cities like this. So I met great people and even left with a few new connections, but it was also easy to just be anonymous and enjoy things on your own.
Likeliness to Return (5/5): I love the ‘idea’ of this city so much and I think the best of it, what it can/used to be. I love bohemian vibes, RICH culture. In addition, I think I’m 100% obsessed with watching skateboarding, bmx, roller skating. Etc. I could literally watch it for hours and hours and hours. I knew this about myself but I rarely go seek and watch it. I like how there is a tourism vibe here and you can kinda get away with watching hours and hour and hours of people doing tricks. I wish it was part of life in Seattle too, though I may check it out more after this trip. I love watching it. It’s so peaceful and intense all at once.
Until next time, I wish you the motivation and success to search for opportunities around your area. Search and explore: Who is out there giving talks? There are new things happening all of the time.
Find relatable or interesting topics you like and check them out! Maybe even something hosted at a cool venue, if there’s no other reason to go. Let’s see what you can learn and discover not too far from home. 😊
