The Weekly Leadership Post I Said I Wouldn’t Make
Disclaimer: Everything below is a mix of what I observed and heard during the event. The goal isn’t to pinpoint "who exactly said what," but to share (usually) an outsider's view and overall perspective on these industries. I’m not here to act as a definitive firsthand source—readers should do their own research. I hope this inspires you to attend events, explore new industries, and hear what leaders are presenting. These notes combine my observations with thoughts on how things could run smoother and how ideas connect (IMO). I’m not an expert, you know? Just hanging out in the room with them. Enjoy!Topics: Active Listening, Expectations, Implicit, Explicit, Communication Skills, Professionalism
Well… I’m attending these weekly 2-hour courses to grow my leadership and communication skills. I was selected to join and welcomed in, so that’s that. In the past, I said I wouldn’t write much about it (since its literally weekly) but this recent event was so interesting, useful, and fascinating, that I want to make a small blog about it. I just felt there were a lot of really amazing takeaways and if you’re a reader of my blog, man oh man, you may enjoy some of this. It was uplifting (okay… a little dull, i did feel like the 2hr meeting could have been put in to 300x sped, hahha, like it could have maybe been a 30 minute meeting still with all the amazing takeaways, but - hey. You only got what you got, so appreciate it). Below I’ll put more.
Why Attend: Bro! I’m trying to be Ryan Cohen Jr, you know? And Ryan Cohen is trying to be Warren Buffet + Carl Icahn. This doesn’t just happen by hoping and wishing and waiting for MOASS. No! You gotta learn to communicate, build, lead… so. You know, as much as I do talk this talk, I’m learning to walk the walk as well. I want to be an epic leader (and admittedly there was a lot that came up in this talk that I was like ‘oh sh***TTT’ hahah. Even recently I was told the feedback that my expectations are (along the lines of) unreasonable and too high. So, maybe that does apply to me… but also, I just have huge huge huge huge dreams for myself and what things can be. So, youu know, I don’t know. Let’s just start the show, okay?
PHOTO COLLAGE AND COMMENTARY:
possibly my most dull blog collage ever. hahah :)
NOTES FROM THE EVENT:
Talk about times you are being a leaders:
i said i'm a mother, i lead ai (though I used to run a team), but to be more vulnerable - now i work more in advocacy especially children, running away 2,000/day so overall society I see some things that would be good... so i'm kinda a leader and i think what questions may this group need to hear, i'll just go up on a mic and ask questions or bring things up. So I'm a leader in just random rooms kinda often.
Then more people talk and so far all of us have children. But then the next woman speaks up and she says she is homeless and 60 but working hard and a leader in her group.
Lots of women really believe that we should lead by example. Also we all come from different spaces, so its good to act it out and show people how we want people to act.
Last week we learned about different mindsets while listening to others.
- Level 1: when you only think of your interpretation
- Level 2: think about their goals and their perspective
- Level 3: notice the body language, what is being said, and more overall
When expectations are not clear, accountability feels like a conflict. There is so much swirling through your mind on what they should have known, etc.
You realize expectations may not have been so clear and so alignment is not there.
Clear documentation of expectations should go both ways. So that you have clear timelines and understanding. If you don't know there's an expectation, there is a limitation there. People can take it as passive aggressive if you never voice your boundaries or expectations.
People may have an overarching goal but not yet thought of the expectations for this. Even leaders have expectations of how the experiences they lead will go. Expectations help everyone grow in the same direction, too.
It's more about alignment, clarity, and trust.
So what are the barriers of setting expectations? sometimes we think things are obvious, but they're not. Implicit expectations.
- maybe we feel emotions, behavioral triggers (frustration, anger, resentment, hurt)... that means an implicit expectation may be here
- personal perspective - "common sense" that this person does this and this
- pattern of behavior, repeated instances. Maybe we see things happening over and over again that you weren't happy about.
- patterns of behavior means something is not being clearly communicated.
- emotions can tell you with clarity when something is missing
- a lot of times there is cultural expectations or group expectations. and its not that one group is right or wrong, its that there is something left unexpressed. Alignment is needed.
Common Categories for Workplace Expectations:
- time management
- punctuality
- communication
- culture
- mindset
- interactions with colleagues
- interactions with clients
-- what behaviors have triggered an emotional response in me?
- what do i believe is common sense?
- what are areas where people are constantly not displaying desired behavior?
We're supposed to think about our implicit expectations right now... our personal ones, and I realize this is so funny cause part of me is like: i have none, right? I just don't expect much from anyone. But at the same time, my entire blog is like just me ranting about implicit expectations (to be dramatic) right? Hahha.
One girl says presentation and communication...
- i think communication is good, but I realize I just have low expectations for everyone just to play it safe I think, haha you know? but i always hope for good communication, and work to improve mine. right?
- she said often times everyone feels like its not their place to speak up in sometimes but then no one ever fixes anything too. Everyone wants to keep things private at work, not sure how to have these difficult conversations.
btw - i’m writing this blog at a hostel the next day. and some drunk guy just came and sat next to me and said “GOODNIGHT”. It’s 9:45pm. I’m just sitting here writing at a table. He’s got a pacifico and a hot chocolate. LOL me too. I have a kale salad, chicken soup, and then I made hot chooclate with peppermint tea.
I don’t wanna talk to this guy, I wanna get my blogs done. But he’s giggling to himself and seems a bit chatty. Not with me, bud. Not with that alcohol. Your mind is no fun for me right now. Maybe another time I’ll chat with you.
When supervisors let things slide, it confuses the culture.
One girl used to be a research scientists, so sometimes she had to come in weird hours. It was clearly communicated to her. So then she assumed that if she comes in late one night, she can come in late in the morning (no more than 40 hours a week) but multiple times she was hunted down and then she would explain this.
Her PI thought she should be in the lab at all time, so to navigate this, she's just clearly communicate every time she stayed late.
- you need to find alignment to resolve, improve workflow, and improve your relationship.
If you're not aware of your expectations, how you can articulate and communicate it to others. Pay attention and stay aware.
Also Explicit Expectations - how do we turn implicit into explicit?
CHARACTERISTICS OF EXPLICIT:
1. CLEAR (avoid ambiguous language: please try... do your best... if you could.. it would be great if. NO - I need _____)
2. CONTEXTUALIZED (set the context to the "why" to increase the motivation and buy-in)
3. CONCISE (one to two sentences maximum, especially when setting the context)
What about if you have expectations and you're not the leader - you're not in the leadership role of that relationship or dynamic.. sometimes you feel like you're not allowed to have expectations - but you are.
you're just as important as anyone else. there are codes of conduct as to how we treat each other
we should also want to be successful as a team and as organizations intertwined.
Often you look better when you are more prepared. Your behavior will change.
true- friggin’ don’t be scared, be prepared.
People can't easily meet expectations if they don't know them.
I notice these leaders talk a lot and even offer up their own suggestions before some people (like me) feel comfortable to speak up. I only notice this because I am a teacher who hosts online classes so I have this happen.
This girl says she is conflict avoidant so she tells herself ahead of time what are her expectations, her why's, stand strong, and no back-peddling. Then sit in the discomfort and keep your mouth shut and don't back down.
Now i'm getting so hungry though. I want a snack and food. I realize that I didn't eat a big enough lunch... AND last time they had a break. Will they have one this time?
Oh! Right on cue. Break time. Then back for the topic of accountability.
I’ll eat some chicken and hummus.
Accountability is following through on expectations
There is a link between expectations and accountability. Clear, explicit expectations are a prerequisite for accountability.
When expectations remain implicit, accountability can feel unfair or confusing. Always letting things slide can make trust erode. So... if you've been letting things slide, how do you start this conversation.
This is a framework for how to circle back. It stays neutral. It's not a punishment, but learning. Neutral approach to have a convo rather than triggering defensiveness. Also, having this conversation will stop a behavior very often.
We can feel self deprecating or feel the blame on ourselves for not speaking up earlier. You can be sorry for not explaining the expectation, but you don't need to self-deprecate.
Example: I noticed a pattern that you've been arriving at meetings right at the start time after board members have already arrived. I realize that I never clearly communicated that for meetings, we need to arrive 15 minutes early so that we can look put together and greet members as they arrive. Do you have any questions about that? Great! Going forward, is that something you can commit to?
You can also always "manage up" and ask your management what are their clear expectations? Then you will know what the benchmarks are.
END OF NOTES :)
but i did just see my hostel neighbor come sit over in another area. he’s eating what looks like either a salad or nachos with his fingers hahah. Oh - its a taco salad. lol. hope he doesn’t snore.
See you next timeeee
OVERALL EVENT REVIEW ELABORATED:
Until next time, I wish you the motivation and success to search for opportunities around your area. Search and explore: Who is out there giving talks? There are new things happening all of the time.
Find relatable or interesting topics you like and check them out! Maybe even something hosted at a cool venue, if there’s no other reason to go. Let’s see what you can learn and discover not too far from home. 😊
